Have You Seen Me Dunk?: August 2008

Air Jordan Chris Paul CP3 2009 Preview
Saturday, August 30, 2008

Posted bykhal at 8:10 AM 0 comments Links to this post

Labels: Kicks

Not this time, Greece.
Thursday, August 14, 2008

With the embarassment of losing to Greece in the 2006 World Championships, LeBron James, Carmelo Anthony, and Dwyane Wade needed this win more than anyone else on the Redeem Team.

I watched the first half of the game before I had to bounce to work, but I was very impressed with what I saw: LeBron James imposing his will, Dwyane Wade being unstoppable, Chris Bosh manniing the post, Kobe Bryant hounding the opposition...it was great.

The refs called 3 fouls on Jason Kidd in the first minute and a half, so he was finished before he could even break a sweat. It was all good because in the end, Team U.S.A. would not be denied. Especially not by a guy named Spanoulis. Great job, fellas.

Next up, those Spanish pussies.

Bryant, Bosh score 18 each as U.S. gets revenge

Posted byEnigmatik at 2:14 PM 0 comments Links to this post

Labels: Greece, Olympics, recap, Team USA

Slant-Eyed Spanish Olympic Team
Monday, August 11, 2008

Why does this mock slant-eyed advert the Spanish team did look like they were telling a joke that included the term "go pee-pee in your milk"?

Posted bykhal at 3:59 PM 2 comments Links to this post

Labels: Olympics

Team USA's Olympic TV Schedule

I know a lot of you nakkas missed yesterday's 101-70 spanking Team USA handed to Yao and his Chinese team, so I figured I'd hit you with the Team USA TV Schedule that Dime posted on Friday:

Sunday August 10th, 10:15 AM EST
Team USA vs. China
Live on NBC

Tuesday August 12th, 8 AM EST
Team USA vs. Angola
Live on the USA Network at 8 AM

Thursday August 14th, 8 AM EST
Team USA vs. Greece
Live on the USA Network

Saturday August 16th, 10:15 AM EST
Team USA vs. Spain
Live on NBC

Monday August 18th, 8 AM EST
Team USA vs. Germany
Live on the USA Network

Depending on where Team USA places among the top four teams in their group, they start the quarter finals on Wednesday, August 20th. The order of the games hasn’t been determined yet, but the four games will be played at 2:30 AM EST, 4:45 AM EST, 8 AM, and 10:15 AM, all on the NBC Olympic Basketball channel.

The semifinals will be played on Friday, August 22nd at 8 AM EST and 10:15 AM EST, live on NBC.

The Gold Medal game will be Sunday, August 24th at 2:30 AM live on NBC. Hopefully we don’t have to worry about the Bronze Medal game at Midnight on the 24th.

Craziness!

Posted bykhal at 9:12 AM 0 comments Links to this post

Labels: Olympics

Liveblog: Team USA vs. China
Sunday, August 10, 2008

Guess who's actually dropping a post on HYSMD?!? Yeah, I know I've been superslackin' on my macking, but the bulls crushed my love for basketball and then Kobe killed it by getting mashed by the Celtics. Anyways, I'm here to semi-live blog the game along with my best friend Kene via text messaging. Here's our observations on USA vs. China.

Enigmatik - The game is coming on!

Kene - I know. I'm so hype right now. I can't wait for LeBron to get a breakaway dunk as George Bush stands up with a thumbs down to say "Finish him!"

They will not blow out the Chinese. If they do, the Chinese president will say "Finish them!"

We'll find out who the real dictator is this morning

Oh shit windmill!

I can't believe they played the NBA on NBC music

Damnit, why did they have to do this to Yao

Hell yeah they dusted that shit off

Yao MUST not get dunked on

I know Yao and getting dunked on is inevitable

Damnit they should have played Angola in the first game

They should've, its an Olympic tradition

Yao has waited his whole life...to get dunked on and lose by 30 on his home court

What the fuck! Pres. Bush in the huddle

Fuck

Yao for 3! What the fuck

Yao gets dunked on by Dwight Howard

Told ya.

LeBron James draws the blocking foul

I'm surprised that wasn't a charge. I know more about LeBrons weight and height than I do about myself

LeBron pins some poor Chinese dude's shot against the glass, while on the other end Yao Ming swats Kobe Bryant

Pinned that shit. Kobe got his shit packed

Pinned it with his head

It looked nasty in HD

There are chances for a lot of fastbreaks because the Chinos are too slow

Are there four ten minute quarters or two halfs?

4 10 min quarters

Kobe got done up just now

Tru dat

The refs are calling bullshit

Ni hao...Welcome to China

We need a black head coach or at least one who doesn't have a penchant for choking

Noel Richardson would suffice.

A chart pops up on the screen showing the significant decline in the U.S. margin of victory beginning with the Dream Team's 43 point per game margin of victory all the way to the 2004 Olympic team's margin of victory of 4 points per game

Look at how the victory margin has dropped

U.S. is going into the half with a double digit lead. Got 'em coach

Yep ten points

LeBron tries to do a no-look spin move pass

Who LeBron think he be?

Skip To My Lou

LEBRON JAMES PINS AND CATCHES SOME CHINESE DUDE'S SHOT ATTEMPT

Oh shit!!!

Damn!!!

Another Chinese 3 pointer...

Gotdamn these Chinese are raining 3s

They must think they're at LA Fitness or something

Yao got pissed! With the hook!

Kobe hasn't done shit yet

Yet another Chinese 3 pointer...

Bussin' ass!

Fuck!!!

A ref calls palming on a Chinese player...

That ref will be executed after the game

And it will be on the Chinese Youtube

Kobe gets two nice dunks

In my face

Now he's doin sumthin

I want a damn Beijing polo shirt and some J's to match

I want a Chinese throwback jersey

LEBRON JAMES THROWS DOWN THE NASTIEST ALLEY OOP IN INTERNATIONAL COMPETITION

Ohhhh sheeeiitttttttt!!!!!!!!!

*Kene calls*

OH SHIT!

OH SHIT!

GOTDAMN!

inaudible

Lebron James easily has the most "Oh shit!" moments in this game

Hell yeah, I'm going out and getting a LeBron jersey today!

*hangs up* Chris Bosh dunks on some Chinese guy

LOL!

*Crowd shot of the U.S.A. Women's team.*

Let's face it. The Lisa Leslie era is over.

Sue Bird is still the shit although I won't be surprised if she's gay

Long live Candace Parker. My boo. You should un-gay Sue Bird fool

US goes to the half up 12.

I wish I had some Pei Wei right now. Or maybe some PF Changs.

Kobe Bryant gets a nice dunk

Kobe

And another block from LBJ

People are gonna start saying he's better than Kobe for real

Yi Jilian smashes a put back dunk on Carmelo's dome

Oh shit! Melo got mashed on!

Carmelo dunked it in!

LOL, yeah that'll be the official statement from the U.S.

Ha, look at him try and get revenge

Obama will make a constitutional amendment that LeBron is better than Kobe

Howard got swatted

Doug Collins pops a boner at the thought of what type of football player LeBron could've been

The inevitable football comment for LeBron

I wonder what kind of cricket player LeBron would be

He's naturally blessed to be a great equestrian

He's a godsend in the sport of archery

Wade tries to go for the steal...

Wade gambles so much you'd think he was in the World Series of Poker

Or the World Series of Dice Shooting

Ashy Wade

China's #10 is about to get done up

Tayshaun isn't getting in

Yao falls and is slow getting up

Gotdamnit!!!!

No Yao!

Shot of Deron Williams checking into the game with his awkward looking beard...

Deron Williams looks like he just started growing facial hair. That's a rookie beard.

It's for the China bitches. He needs to look as black as possible in order to get some ass

Doug Collins makes at least his third or fourth reference to when he was a young bright eyed boy at the Olympics in Munich back in the 1800's

Damn tell Doug Collins to shut up about the old days. We get it. you were an Olympian.

But back then the world was flat

And black people didn't exist

Tayshaun got in

Team China has suddenly gone on a drought and the U.S. lead is growing...

Those threes are not falling for China anymore

Yeah the shoot nothing but 3s strategy stopped working

Look at all the Secret Service men

That arena might be the most secure place on Earth right now

Even George Bush is carrying a gun

He's been packiin a gat...what y'all know about them Texas boys

Yao checks out of the game and gives a salute to his countrymen...at this point, his team is down by about 30

Yao happy to get blasted by 30

One of the commentators states that Yao "can hold his head up high"

"Yao can hold his head up high?" For losing by 30? C'mon....these guys are here to win. Don't patronize them

Damn fool you make him sound like a porn whore

Well Team U.S.A. did gang bang them

Team USA has 89 points with a little under 3 minutes left to play...

We better score 100

We won't

I want my free egg roll

Confucious say: where da bitches at?

Waiting at the olympic village butt ass ass butt ass naked

Five more points. what type of egg roll do you want

Steamed beef. Tayshaun obviously hates Kobe

You better get in line. 1.3 billion are ahead of you

Game over...Team U.S.A. 101, China 70.

I'm just now noticing that there are no white boys on the U.S.A team. God bless America

But most of the coaches are white, so remember who is still in charge

Tru dat. Double tru.