MRI reveals torn labia: The Tracy McGrady story

“T-Mac got hurt in the game.”

“Word, what happened to him?”

“He had heart failure.”

*laughter ensues*

Happy New Year, kids. The previous quotes were from a conversation that my boy Scott and my brother King were having after we returned from watching the Rockets get stomped out by the Mavs a few weeks back. I’ve been meaning to talk about this for a while, but between disgust and boredom I haven’t been able to put finger to keyboard to properly express how I feel. This probably won’t capture the full extent of how I feel, but here goes:

Tracy McGrady has no heart.

Ah…how refreshing. Now Rockets fans, before you get up in arms, let’s take a trip down memory lane. I’ll spare you the gory details and ask you this:

How many playoff series have you won since McGrady became a Rocket?

How many playoff series has McGrady won, period?

McGrady is not a winner. Point blank. End of story. You remember when I told you about the last time I saw him play live; well, McGrady played like crap for the next few games after that, poured 20 on my sorry bulls, and then promptly missed a few more games after dinging his knee against the Pistons. You always know when T-Mac is going to get hurt; if his shot isn’t falling, look out for a limp or a wince of “pain”, followed by a complete shut down in effort.

He had an MRI about a week ago which revealed no structural damage. Surprise, surprise. Furthermore, an extended physical revealed that McGrady was experiencing painful menstrual cramps combined with a fiery yeast infection. Ok, so I made that last part up. The yeast infection part.

The fact of the matter is that no matter where McGrady goes, he will not be the one to lead any NBA team to the Promised Land. He wants all of the glory, fame, and money that goes along with being The Man but when it comes down to the nitty gritty, you’re more likely to see him get a DNP than an MVP.

Sorry, Rockets fans, but T-Mac isn’t the guy for you. Oh well, there’s always next season.

P.S. – There are now rumors that T-Mac has indicated that he wants out of H-Town. I say make it happen, quick!

Posted byEnigmatik at 10:22 AM  


khal said... December 31, 2007 at 10:37 AM  

lol you a fool for this one. but all comedy has truth in it, and this is super on point.

Rizoh said... December 31, 2007 at 11:38 AM  

Cosign 100%. Dude is great at whatever it is he does, but has no heart whatsoever. I say give this team to Yao, he's the true leader on the court. Yao works harder than any other Rocket, gets banged up more than T-Mac, gets unfair calls, and still puts up double doubles every night.

Enigmatik said... December 31, 2007 at 11:47 AM  

Yao, Shane Battier...and that's about it. Everyone else is a pushover. By the way, Steve Francis is about to go all out this evening. Not on the basketball court, but at his New Year's Eve party. Holla!

Anonymous said... January 7, 2008 at 10:50 PM  
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